A Tad Difficult
A recent NYC CL nanny search ad generated a flurry of media coverage, including this New York Times writeup. The mother of 4 who authored the ad is reportedly thinking book deal.
I don’t want someone who has a lot of theories on the right way to raise kids, because in the end, I’m just a woman doing my best. I’m willing to learn from you, or anyone, but not so much about how i should parent my spawn. teach me to knit. introduce me to yoga, the white stripes, russian literature or the best place to get a burger in the village at 2Am, but do not tell me to put star stickers on a good boy chart. stickers irritate me.
August 31st, 2008 at 8:15 am
How can stickers irritate anyone! I love stickers!
August 31st, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Right on Sister,
The kids today are so used to over the top Praise that they are expecting a rah rah when they pass a test in high school. God help the employers of these kids. They need to launch a chart for these kids with perks for good behavior. What ever happened to a child doing something just because it was expected of them or because a parent TOLD THEM TO!! Mothers today should not have to spend every living hour dropping off and picking up kids to the numerous trumped up after school programs that fill 7 days a week. Yes, and some kids need to learn to sit and watch amovie or read a book. Stop the insanity!
September 1st, 2008 at 5:33 pm
What this woman wants is a playmate not a nanny. If you don’t want to raise your kids why have them. It isn’t manditory and we know how to control that now.
September 1st, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Wow, Steve do you really think her address for help was about the stickers? How lucky a woman is to be able to afford quality help and still realize what perameters she needs to set. If more people knew what they wanted precisley and still remain open minded like the author of the article, the evolution of our children who came in already vibrating so much higher than us will process organisation and fluid living, like, off the top of my head…. 5% of the planet at the moment. Kudos to the Mom who has to work and loves her children enough to keep consistency thriving.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
sounds to me like she has been hittin the bottle herself for quite some time, if your children are that much of a pain in the ass to you and you are looking for someone to raise them every waking moment the dont have them, give them to someone who wants them, they are children children need love and bonding, when do you bond with them? you sound like an egotistical, selfcentered, substance abusing joke, you do need help, but not in the form of a nanny, p.s. wheres your husband???
September 6th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I hear ya. What has the world come to? Everyone thinks a stuffed animal or a sticker can make everything ok. My kids don’t get reward stickers, and they are well enough behaved. They know what the real world is like. I don’t want my kids to grow up in this fake society everyone is trying to paint, so I make sure they experience things first hand whenever they can. I have never left my kids with a nanny, but they have gone to daycare from time to time. I prefer to raise my own kids, but to each her own. Just remember when they are all grown up it will be too late to make up for all the things you missed with them. Do you think you’ll be able to live with yourself then?
September 25th, 2008 at 8:42 am
I applaud her idealistic mentality it is obvious she is a writer and I think that she was able to convey her desires accurately. I too have four children and I also employ the use of a Nanny. In my particular posting I formulated my idea of my nanny as a mix between Lindsay Lohan and Nanny 911. Fun yet balanced. I too like the stickers and I am understanding about crumbs….BUT those pesky finger prints on glass are what send me over the EDGE! So in an effort to encourage people to go for the exact idea of who they want in a Nanny; I say good for her!
I personally enjoyed her artful expression.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:41 am
sounds honest. she sounds like a real parent. my kids are crazy, I love them, but that doesn’t mean you will. I also don’t like star stickers, get real. I can’t afford a nanny, but if I could I’d add something to that job posting. No professional nannies need apply, because my kids are the devil’s spawn and they will eat you alive. I wouldn’t choose to hire anybody who thought they knew more about childcare than I do, unless she’s a grandma. I, too, would request no smokers and I am also just a woman, a mom, a wife. Where’s daddy? come on, if daddy was home during the day why would she be hiring a nanny? get real people, she needs a nanny with attitude so they fit into her family.
October 5th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Sounds like RLS is just trying to make sure neither her mother nor mother-in-law (if applicable) applies for the position. Seems to me she’s set the ground rules to make sure nobody else raises her kids, but still, four kids requires a lot of help and what mom doesn’t need help? If she wanted somebody else to raise her kids she wouldn’t be requiring “no stickers” or advise smokers (past or present) to take a hike. She’s a neat freak, “crumbs are a deal breaker,” a realist “[Her] kids are a pain in the ass,” and wants to ensure no personality conflicts (advises unhappy applicants to not apply and then seek help); it’s nice that an employer can put that all on the table before starting the new job. Hell, if I lived in NY, I’d apply for the position - I’ve already raised my kids and would be all too happy NOT to raise somebody elses. As much as I love children, I would only be too happy to know my job was done by 8:15pm. Hey, don’t knock RLS; she expects to get her kids up every morning and plans to put them to bed every night. There’s a lot of non-affluent moms that don’t get that luxury because they have to work double shifts or go to night school, but still they’re the best moms they can be. And all the best to her on that book deal … she is hilarious!
October 7th, 2008 at 6:58 am
I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. The New York Times picked up this posting? Really? She’s a mediocre writer with mediocre ideas masked by attitude. She’s replacing skill with personality in this posting…and I’m shocked no one else has noticed.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Can I barf now? this person must think her book will sell. quess what IT Will because everybody wants to cry for making a mistake instead of owning up to the fact that she is THEIR mother and no matter how you let them get away with whatever as cute little ones they grow up to be you. look in the mirrow and find your grand and great grand mothers who refused to let children disrespect and tell them what they are not going to do. daycare,nanny;or afterachool children are on a job from 6 to 6 give them a break and love them for tolorating you for leaving them so long because you want everyone else to raise them and can’t understand why they don’t love you when they are teens. what did YOU teach them,who do theyremember when they got hurt or needed a backup from a bully. Attitude is all you got lady. go and ask them tell me something good about mommy as the nanny or others talk to them and hide yourself and listen and cry cause the kid gives nanny or caregiver a hug before YOU get one. Yhen ask them to talk about who really takes care of them. And whats so bad is some NICE parents don’t care “they pay to get all the kids work done for them and all they want is to pick them up and put them to bed. you need to hear your children talk about their parents that they LOVE SO MUCH.
October 21st, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I did not read that she wanted someone else to raise them.
I had a life as well as time to teach mine how to lead a clean productive life. We loved, guided them, supported them with no reason to change our way of same from anyone. Not saying there were not others that did not direct a reasoning for how we guided them.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:29 am
If you don’t want to give guidance just get the tattoo parlors address from the phone
book for them.
November 12th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
This woman sounds a bit overwhelmed. And yes, as a woman, I can surely relate to that. Most of my adult life I’ve been told that I “missed my calling”, because I have a marvelous emagination and I can write until the cows come in. In high school my English teacher told me to pursue my writing, while she subjected my younger sibblings to my essays for years to come. But I was programmed to believe, like most young girls, that I needed to find my Prince Charming and have his children. To make a long story short, I married three times and had four children. My indepenent nature and hunger for growth took me on a different path. In the end I managed to have a business, as I needed to get my children through college. As life would have it, I did this on my own. There was no time for Russian literature, or Yoga, etc. I needed to focus on what was before me at the time. I needed to commit to the choice I made. I knew in my heart that someday my time will come to nurture my passion. I will be 60 years old this Thanksgiving Day. I now have two homes, whereby I can endulge my coming “retirement”. Only I will not stop working. I learned the hard way that my happiness does not depend on other people and circumstances. My destiny is of my own creation. Period.
November 28th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
There’s nothing wrong with a little truth.
December 10th, 2008 at 10:06 am
I thought the add was great, I laughed all the way through. We each have pet peeves and things that bother us wether they make sense or not is another story. She is clear and to the point. If I lived in New York and didn’t have 5 kids of my own I would have given it a shot. One doesn’t have to guess what this mother wants, expects or even what she will be like as a employer. She’s right no one can honestly love a child more than a parent. We are all just doing the best we can and nobodys perfect.
December 13th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Sounds like she needs a live in Nanny that can cook, clean, and take care of the kids. I am courious to find out if the position was/is filled. AND how much this person is getting paid.
When looking back, the kids will remember the fun times that they had with mom and dad. GO out and make memories with your kids. They will be better for it.
Parents need to put there children’s needs first. It is a need to be diciplined, love and for boundries to be set.
Family time is important…not just at dinner, but actually spending indiviual time listening and understanding what your kids are going through. It is tough being a parent, but it is also a prevledge that should not be taken lightly.
Best wishes to the LUCKY person that takes on this job.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:20 am
My heart goes out to the moms that wish they could stay at home but cannot due to finances. That being said, I cannot understand the ones that can afford to stay at home and don’t. I agree with the others; why have kids if you are just going to have someone raise them for the majority of the day? There is an 8:1 ratio at most daycares…doesn’t it bother working moms that there little ones are not loved on or hugged all day? When they are little, that is so important. The first 2 years are the most important. It’s when children “learn to learn” and that sets the foundation for how they will “learn to lean” for the rest of their lives.
I applaud the mom for at least hiring a nanny but that just shows that she COULD afford to stay at home. A book? Get real!! It is a rant more than a help wanted ad with nuggets of realism. The only people who would buy her book are full time working moms just looking to feel justified in their selfish decision to unload their kids onto another person who makes close to minimum wage who just does the bare minimum to take care of them while you are fullfilling the self-righteous, greedy, Lexus “American Dream”.
Do I sound overly critical? I don’t care. Her ad made me laugh but then made me sad for her kids. If crumbs put you over the edge then you shouldn’t have had kids; they are wonderfully messy, wipe buggers on walls and toot in pubic…well, at least my 2 yr old does (we’re working on it :/)
I am more busy, more fulfilled, and definitely more happy working on the lives of my children then I ever was working for money. I work for smiles and hugs.
January 6th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I hate stickers also! No I don’t think that my 7 year old should not enjoy having them. Kids love to paste them or should I say stick them in sticker books. Have you observed with your children lately? some of the so called children programming? That is exactly what it is is programming. My “spawn ” will learn from me. They will learn life managment skills music, How to treat each other with respect and love. They will learn from my example. Not by what some one suggests I do in a book, that will be obsolete in a few years or so. Good for you! Children should be loved appreciated and needed. They do not have to be rewarded for going on the potty for the first time or for doing the normal chores in life. A family unit is just that. In todays world kids rule. They are rude obnoxtious and whine and cry if they don’t get the latest gadgets. To parents that have children that are behaved (most of the time.) No one, even a child is perfect. God bless you for your hard work . Yor children will thank you one day for setting standards and moral values. The world lacks these values on the whole. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no hug them spend time with them and take time for you. I watched a tv series on Disney Channel. I was appalled at the content. I Carli!!! please! my children won’t be veiwing it. I applaud you for your candidnice Written by a mom of 6 and g’ma of 6 and no time for spell check like I said no one is perfect.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
hooray for craigs list! in five days i was able to find my friends sister in oklahoma. we are in sacramento. what a joy it is to know i helped my friend before his demise to find his sister. i am so absolutely convienced that craigs list is where you want to go.. thanks craigs list and the gentleman who helped us so quickly..thank you, thank you, thank you…
January 12th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
I laughed hysterically when I read this letter. First, I always said that America should vote in a “teenager for President”, they have ALL the answers. According to my 20y.o., I’m “doing it all wrong”, no matter what it is. Hooray for teenagers - what are we older people doing breathing? We have some nerve!!!!!!
I just loved it. When my chldren were babies and someone would give advise on how to raise him/her or if he/she was being a 2 or 3 yr old, bratty!:-)
I recall asking them if they had any children and if they did, I use to tell them that I guess they “forgot” what it was like to go out with little one’s. Another time I was at a mall with my then, 2y.o. when he wouldn’t stay in the carriage, after running after him a time or two and placing him back in the carriage, I recall this “nose up her ass” woman looking at me over her specticles. Out of the bllue I looked at her dead on and said with a smile on my face “isn’t he cute”? And off I went, I think she is still standing in the same spot with her mouth wide open. Enjoy them, they are only little once, after that, you will never hold their little hands ever again, so enjoy them now, while you can.
January 14th, 2009 at 5:56 am
I looked around to make sure my daughter and her children were still at home in Alabama…..I would apply for this position….after all…..they all
sound just like my own
January 27th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Good for you, girlfriend. There’s nothing like those people that come into your life after a few weeks (or days/hours) and profess to know enough to “council” you. The best thing anybody could do for a woman with 4 kids is give her something for herself - if Mama’s happy - everybody’s happy!
February 7th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
PEOPLE ON A BLOG TELLING PARENTS RAISING CHILDREN TO EITHER STAY HOME OR NOT. IS IT REALLY ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS? KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF…GET A JOB SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO WRITE ON BLOGS TO OFFEND ANYONE. REALLY!
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:55 am
“KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF”?…Forgive me, but isn’t that what a blog is? Wikipedia - “A blog (a contraction of the term weblog) is a type of website, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events,…” You are right about one thing, I must admit - GET A JOB!